Gay man married to straight woman
A gay man and a straight woman got married. They say it's not a 'lavender marriage' but founded on 'true pure love.'
Growing up gay and without examples of flourishing marriages in his family, Jacob Hoff didn't reflect he'd ever get married — let alone to a woman.
But in November last year, Hoff, 31, married his longtime girlfriend, Samantha Wynn Greenstone,
When Business Insider spoke to the LA-based couple in , they explained that they were in a "mixed-orientation" relationship, meaning that they have different sexual orientations. Hoff is a gay man, and Greenstone is a straight woman.
The two musical theatre performers started off as top friends, but started online dating in when Greenstone admitted that she had amorous feelings for Hoff and he realized he felt the same way.
They've now been together for eight years in a monogamous relationship, and decided to tie the knot last year.
BI caught up with them to ask about their wedding, future plans, and whether the way others see them has changed.
Hoff and Greenstone lay their own 'campy' imprint on wedding To read the wife's take on this story, click here.
Like most couples, my wife and I, full of optimism and promise, walked down the hallway of the church where we married. We were both dedicated, Evangelical Christians. I was in the ministry at the time. We were young, in love, and believed that, with God on our side, the whole earth had been laid out before us.
But I was gay.
People frequently ask if my wife knew I was same-sex attracted when she married me. The respond is a bit more complicated than a simple yes or no. I had gone through an ex-gay ministry, the most celebrated one in the country in evidence, and was productive for them when we got married. My wife and I believed I had been "healed" of my homosexuality, or was at least in the process of entity healed. Our faith taught us to trust, pray and believe that God could do miraculous things.
It wasn't too long into the marriage before we both began to sense something was wrong. There was an invisible wall that separated us emotionally. I wanted to believe it wasn't there and denied it vehemently when she brought it up. We prayed harder. I had suffic
My Husband’s Not Gay, a display on TLC, has caused an uproar. The negative attention is unfortunate because this could own been a show that highlighted mixed-orientation couples and how these couples can actually make their relationships work.
Why do some people become so outspoken and judgmental about marriages with one unbent and one gay spouse? There are several reasons. These marriages raise concerns about infidelity. They bring out people’s judgments about what marriage should or should not be. In particular, they bring out people’s judgments about monogamy.
Finally, these relationships suggest to some people “reparative therapy,” the unethical and impossible claim that a person can be changed from gay to straight. The men in this television program aren’t claiming to be ex-gay nor that they can transform their sexual orientation (at least not on the show). They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay human and their straight wives consent this.
People seem to get up in arms when a bloke says he is not same-sex attracted but rather simply attracted to men. In our cultu
I’m a Straight Woman Who Married a Gay Man
To get advice from Prudie, submit your questions anonymously here. (Questions may be lightly edited for publication.) Join the live chat every Monday at noon (and submit your comments) here, or call the Dear Prudence podcast voicemail at to hear your question answered on a future episode of the show.
Dear Prudence,
I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in cherish with each other and have been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being lgbtq+ and has never secret it from me. Only one of our common friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be best to remain unlock with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our mutual acquaintance. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.
I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I believe they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t fancy my husband, but that’s a different letter
To read the wife's take on this story, click here.
Like most couples, my wife and I, full of optimism and promise, walked down the hallway of the church where we married. We were both dedicated, Evangelical Christians. I was in the ministry at the time. We were young, in love, and believed that, with God on our side, the whole earth had been laid out before us.
But I was gay.
People frequently ask if my wife knew I was same-sex attracted when she married me. The respond is a bit more complicated than a simple yes or no. I had gone through an ex-gay ministry, the most celebrated one in the country in evidence, and was productive for them when we got married. My wife and I believed I had been "healed" of my homosexuality, or was at least in the process of entity healed. Our faith taught us to trust, pray and believe that God could do miraculous things.
It wasn't too long into the marriage before we both began to sense something was wrong. There was an invisible wall that separated us emotionally. I wanted to believe it wasn't there and denied it vehemently when she brought it up. We prayed harder. I had suffic
My Husband’s Not Gay, a display on TLC, has caused an uproar. The negative attention is unfortunate because this could own been a show that highlighted mixed-orientation couples and how these couples can actually make their relationships work.
Why do some people become so outspoken and judgmental about marriages with one unbent and one gay spouse? There are several reasons. These marriages raise concerns about infidelity. They bring out people’s judgments about what marriage should or should not be. In particular, they bring out people’s judgments about monogamy.
Finally, these relationships suggest to some people “reparative therapy,” the unethical and impossible claim that a person can be changed from gay to straight. The men in this television program aren’t claiming to be ex-gay nor that they can transform their sexual orientation (at least not on the show). They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay human and their straight wives consent this.
People seem to get up in arms when a bloke says he is not same-sex attracted but rather simply attracted to men. In our cultu
I’m a Straight Woman Who Married a Gay Man
To get advice from Prudie, submit your questions anonymously here. (Questions may be lightly edited for publication.) Join the live chat every Monday at noon (and submit your comments) here, or call the Dear Prudence podcast voicemail at to hear your question answered on a future episode of the show.
Dear Prudence,
I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in cherish with each other and have been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being lgbtq+ and has never secret it from me. Only one of our common friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be best to remain unlock with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our mutual acquaintance. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.
I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I believe they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t fancy my husband, but that’s a different letter